i've always wondered why people follow certain customs and traditions, especially when they defy common sense. yes you're right. i'm referring to the stuff every self-respecting chinese family in singapore proudly and unashamedly does every blessed chinese new year in the hope that it would bring them a blessed fortune in the blessed year ahead


to be frank, it annoys the hell out of me to see people performing intelligence-defying feats like queueing up in a petrol station just to have your car washed by some "i-can't-give-2-fucking-hoots" bangala worker using some 2nd hand soap and a filthy sponge that was probably last washed the last time singapore won the malaysian cup


how about paying exorbitant prices for pineapple tarts, bak kwa and love letters on the eve of CNY? their prices go up so much, the rate of increase probably equals that of wages paid to EPL footballers. why wait for last minute then buy? their answer: because its fresher. . . WTF LAH, the fuckin tarts and whatever not (exclude bak kwa) has already been packed long before, you think you buy the tarts on 1 day means it was baked the very same day? wake up lah. ever wondered what factories are for? yes, contrary to what you may believe- food can also be made in such factories, hence the term "commercialisation".


it does not matter whether we have a 1st class education system (which i honestly think we do) when we have a population having a general consensus that common sense is an expandable item to be discarded every festive occasion. is the "festive mood" then one characterised ultimaltely by stupidity and senselessness?


the reason why i do not go visiting during CNY is not because my mom isn't chinese and my dad doesn't have close ties with his relatives (although both are true) the real reason is because i can no longer identify with what it means. why celebrate something i bear no affinity to? ever see singaporeans celebrate thanksgiving? or st. patricks' day? no right? my point exactly.


this is of course what my personal thoughts are, my apologies if i've genuinely upset those ardent fans of CNY as being a one-time source of injection to your monthly income. do not crucify me. ok what the fuck, i'm asking to be crucified by blogging about this. crucify me, but let me have some of those lovely pineapple tarts first? please?

before i start on this post i would just like to take some time to tell you of this particular friend of mine, who was pretty convinced there is a USS seminar this week entitled "10 proposals for ORCHARD 2006" when it should have been "10 proposals for BUDGET 2006". wah she damn confident of herself can? wanna bet dinner with me somemore lehh, then after she realised her mistake, can still launch one last line of defence leh, saying:


"i tot he was gonna tok abt orchard 2006, cos orchard's gonna b revamped wat, so i tot it was some tourism talk"


errr R.I.G.H.T. hahaha i'm refraining from naming who the poor unfortunate and mistaken gal is because according to her, "u better dun put my name man, if i see my name there u die ah" lol. okie okie. *can't resist one last snigger*


but anyway i was with my uncle yesterday when we went into one of those makeshift orchards selling those seasonal chinese new year plants like kumquats. because the plant selling fella knew my uncle, the moment he met us he went on complaining about bad business. . . the following is the conversation that followed:


Plant-selling fella: *complaining about bad business*


Uncle: *attempt to divert the subject* "err ok so actually ah, what are these plants supposed to be for?"


Plant-selling fella: "bring good luck and prosperity one"


Me: "so if they bring good luck and prosperity, and you have so many of them, how come your business still so bad?"


All: *silence*


ahh. . . all the little ironic traditions of chinese new year, and don't you people find it just a tinge RIDICULOUS that PEOPLE "dress up" as LIONS and go around eating CABBAGES and ORANGES just so they can "peel" and SPIT it out on the floor, and everyone gets EXCITED thinking that the numbers are some magical combination for 4D NUMBERS. funny culture we chinese have eh? and oh, we didn't buy any plants in the end. so much for "good luck and prosperity" eh?

i just saw my neighbour wearing this t-shirt yesterday and thought it was really cool. the shirt read "I ONLY DRINK BEER ON DAYS THAT END WITH 'Y'" so if anyone has seen this t-shirt anywhere pls let me know k? and i would also very much like one of those license plate-like boards that you can stick on the door of your room. . . ah. . . think they should be about 20bucks or something, anyone got lobang for such stuff drop me a tag yea?


now, a quick shoutout about schoolwork. i am CLUELESS with a capital C about everything buzzing around the rather small academic portion of my head at the current moment. all the damn IVLE forums look as though they've been written in some obscure language whose only users are some african tribe pending extinction and i really can't be too bothered with them. well its only the 2nd week of school so things might very well get better with time (or worse) *shudders* but hey its chinese new year next week so i'm just gonna occupy my mind with getting fat on all those wonderful goodies and worry about my schoolwork (and losing weight) a little later.


fuck its my cousin's wedding tomororw and i got myself an armani suit for the occasion, only to realise that i left my camera in my pgp room so too bad you people would not see photos of one of the rare occasions that i actually dress up for an occasion. contrary to popular belief (reinforced by what you see me wear in school) i do actually have something other than t-shirts, berms and jeans in my wardrobe so ya.

if you would to stumble upon the holy grail, how would you know that it is the holy grail? i'm tired. goodnight.

a recipe for disaster and perhaps instant alcohol poisoning, tried, tested (and survived) by yours truly at jae's party yesterday:

(1) shot glass filled with sabucca to the brim (good stuff!). set alight. no straws. just drink. do not hesitate because you would burn your mouth (like me). make sure it goes down at one go. the result? for about 3 seconds, you will feel as though your entire digestive tract from your throat to your stomach got warmer by several degrees. this makes a flaming lamborghini seem like a soft drink in a martini glass. please do not try this if your face turns crimson red after a can of beer.


(2) bottle of vodka on speed-pourer poured straight into your open mouth as you sit on a chair. hold the position for 3 seconds (although im damn sure it was like 5 seconds). its not as bad as it seems lah. really. but the trick is for you to do the whole process 4 times in less than 2 hours. fuck i choked at the last time.


for best effect, intersperse both of the above with other drinks like flaming lamborghinis and double tequila shots and there you have it. concussion effect guaranteed. just ask my dear neighbour leonard what i did last night when i went back to PGP. think i should abstain from alcohol for a while to let this shit flow out of my system. ok gimmie a week.

i came home today for the hari raya holiday, step into the house already 1st thing i see is shoes. alot of shoes. alot alot of shoes. fuckin' uncountable alot of shoes. all is my mother's shoes lah, so out of curiousity i pinch my nose and count. . . WAH LAO 51 PAIRS OF SHOES AND 3 PAIRS OF SLIPPERS! ! ! WTF!


apparently my mom was too bored ah, so she decided to empty her shoe cupboards (yes, cupboards, with an 's'). then she go and fall-in the shoes across the entire dining room, until almost at the entrance to my room. i want to go to my room, havew to be like Charlton Heston in "The Ten Commandments" (i.e. Moses parting the Red Sea, for all you non movie buffs) total got 54 piece of footwear leh, i think can start shop already lor. her name also can go change to "Imelda" (i told her that lah, but basket she didn't get the joke)


wah piang. i also out of curiousity go and count my footwear. . . 1 pair Asaki slippers (those type buy from market 2 dollar one)... 2 pair teva slippers and sandals (wear go for lessons). . . 1 pair Asics running shoe (wear go out one). . . 1 pair hush puppies black leather shoes (wear for formal formal event). . . 1 pair marks & spenser suede shoes (always wear go chiong)... 1 pair timberland loafers and 1 pair fifth avenue loafers (i see my mood to wear which one lah). . . 2 pair SAF running shoes (last time got too many credits then buy lor). . . 2 pair SAF gortex boot (1 parade 1 chiong sua). . . 1 pair soccer boots (use to kick ball lah then what?)


13 pairs in total only lehh. . . i think even if i summation all the shoes i ever wear from my baby time also would not have 50 pairs lor. . .


terrible lah, my mother. . . skarli she go and dig out somemore pair of shoes behind my back. . . then my room door cannot open liao.

something quite funny happened to me in school a few days back, was having lunch with a few friends (identity withheld) haha when suddenly a friend's friend - a TNP journalist approached us, asking to interview us on some "campus matters". . . well it turned out that she wanted to ask questions on how prevalent is the sex culture in NUS is. . .


it was damn hilarious lah, especially when she named the "top 5 places to make out" and asked us for our opinion on it haha well i would not say any more, to protect identities lahh. . . then towards the end, she turned to a new page in her notebook, and asked us to write down our names, faculty, and contact number. wah laoz sibei stun. she passed the notebook to me 1st somemore haha next time i become some MP or what, then the interview confirm come back to haunt me. imagine the newspaper headline:

"MINISTER OF EDUCATION SAYS HE LOVES QUICKIES IN TOILET CUBICLES IN BETWEEN LESSONS"

no of course i did not say that. but well. . . u know how these journalists are. . . lol. . . (no offence meant to my wonderful friends doing comm studies in NTU)


yay i got 5 out of my 6 modules already, for the 1st 4 i paid 1 point each, then the last one, USE2304. . . haiz...


1hr before closed bidding: 17/18 (next min bid: 1)
start of closed bidding: 18/18 (next min bid: 2)
end of closed bidding: 19/18 (next min bid: 75)


there goes my 1pt virginity heh. i've used up 84pts for 10 mods in yr 1, as opposed to the desired 10. . . haha sian. if i ever find out who were the last 2 jokers who raised the bid i'll probably murder them until they die from it haha. urgh.

I just came back from lunch at Golden Mile Complex, wah the food there 1st class sia. i ate char kway teow, 3x goreng pisang, fried dumplings and one whole glass of sugar cane, now super full. anyway that place i highly recommend. last time army that time used to go there buy barang barang, then always eat with my army kakis, so today was like a trip down memory lane. . . without having to buy arc of fire stick, range cards, sew rank etc. ORD LOH!

but anyway i wanna blog today because i feel very buay song about something. like this girl who last week write to straits times complaining say although she damn smart got 6pts for prelims cannot go into one of the "elite JC's". fuck lah i read already dulan, not because my O level score is double digit, but then she like never use brain before writing - the decision of whether you go or never go in to "elite JC's" is not in your (or the straits times)hands what. the MOE rule already state so clearly your CCA zai, minus 2 pt, your cheena ding gua gua, also minus another 2 pt. like that still can argue?

"This loophole in the system has certainly put students who do not take Higher Mother Tongue at a disadvantage." --> ya lah of course, then you think MOE give 2 bonus pts free of charge ah? macham gahmen give upgrading project just before general election. everything got reason one. ppl study more what, thats why they got deduction - because they worked for it! that logic surely not very difficult to understand for a 6-pointer? ah boh u say dont give 2pt deduction for CCA because it would put the "non-CCA inclined" students at a disadvantage? stupid girl.

last time i younger i also try to apply to one of the top 5 JC, then they give preference to 1st 3 months students although their O level score not so zai as mine, but they minus 2 more pts, so i never get a place there lah. unfair hor? aiyah this type of thing, complain until singapore got snow and england win world cup also no use lah. what to do? suck thumb lor. u write to newspaper forum, got what purpose? the editor in straits times can do anything to help you get that coveted place in an "elite JC"? i dont think so.

this type of people sibei talk cock. she this kind of pattern, i got absolutely no sympathy for her. i hope her O level result come out, her score come out more like blackjack score, then i laugh till my backside turn purple then take MC liao.

P.S: you can check out the letter she wrote, just go to this link:
http://straitstimes.asia1.com.sg/forum/story/0,5562,362182-1136239140,00.html?

Le temps detruit tout - Time destroys everything. i cannot help but feel this tagline really hammered home barely minutes after watching "Irreversible". the movie was extremely visceral in its impact thanks in no small amount to the brutal violence it showcased.


i wouldn't spoil the excellent show, but would just say that the movie centres around 2 acts of extreme brutality - one, a scene where a man literally has his head busted open and brains spilled out after being bashed in by a fire extinguisher; and secondly, and arguably more controversially, a 9min long anal rape scene in an underpass where the victim is physically assaulted and left to die afterwards.


as explicit it may be, it was not the violence but the underlying theme that i found the most striking - the destruction that the passing of time leaves in its wake. it is cruel because nothing and no one can be spared from it. like what was shown in the movie, you can be having the time of your life at a party for one moment, and in the next instance you're fighting for your life. remarkable as science may be, it does little to help us fathom what time is. we do not know. and until we come to realise what we do not know, we are powerless in its grasp. we are all victims of time.


i guess this is especially true at a significant juncture such as the passing of a year. memories are the best measure of time because they are stored in an un-intrudable space of one's mind,. yet one's memory is also his greatest weakness for it invariably (and often inexplicably) fails. if i were to pick out any 5 random dates of a random year that has passed, and asked you what you did on that date, would you be able to remember?


i doubt so.


if we are helpless to prevent the passing of time, then every fleeting moment of emotion, however miniscule, is tantamount to the most gut-wrenching acts of violence, rape, murder and revenge that i saw in the movie. simply because they both are Irreversible.