(this entry was supposed to be posted yesterday, but i couldn't complete it then)

life is cruel.

i just returned home from the driving centre, having finally passed my driving on the 4th attempt. yet happiness is transient, and it was overshadowed and blemished by an incident that happened after that.

i was at the bus stop waiting for a bus after my driving test 4 hours later, and was sms-ing qingru to tell her about this particularly adorable stray cat i saw this morning that purred and meow-ed delightfully as i scratched it. at the corner of my eye i saw this kitten appear from the bushes, and charged across the 4-lane road the very next instant. a horde of cars went by within the blink of an eye, and when i looked again, the kitten was lying on the road, a tiny stream of blood emanating from its head.

it was still alive, barely. 2 of its feet were raised in the air in a desperate and futile attempt to reach out for help. i paused. i could very well have brought it back to the side of the road, albeit at the expense of my own life. i hesitated, and the next wave of cars went passed. i heard a faint thud, the distinctly sickening sound of bones being shattered and crushed.

i ran and carried the kitten back to the safety of the roadside, to the utter surprise and shock of those present. but it was too late.

the kitten died on me.

it has been almost 45 minutes since then, and faint smears of dried blood are still on my hands. it bears testament to the fragility of life, and the price of one's hestiation.

i never did send that sms.