"the urge to be a perfect father is there, because your child is a perfect gift."

no i am not thinking of starting a family anytime in the forseeable future. but really, how does one fathom this notion of fatherhood? what are the "ingredients" and "recipe" of being a good father? the truth is, no one knows, simply because it is a common belief that no such definition exists. but that does not mean that i should be, and am content with accepting it simply because of the absence of an antithesis.

what has been running through my head is this: if one has not a "good" father, does that mean that he, in following the "not good" example, would also become a "not good" father in future? (the apple never falls far from the tree). conversely, does having a "not good" father entail a greater desire for one to be a "good" father to well, in a sense, atone for the past? (never underestimate the sins of the father. "When one has not had a good father, he must create one" - Nietzsche)

is the relationship between a father and child incongruent in that it be easier being a child to a father, than a father to a child? how does one explain the father-child relationship in words? how does one explain any relationship in words, for that matter?

i guess i would never know the answers to these questions. not in the forseeable future anyway.