slightly over a year back i collected my pink IC from the manpower clerk, waved goodbye to sungei gedong, and told myself to fuck off and never return till i get my 100A, or whatever funky notification thing MINDEF has nowadays. but return to NS i did, not physically. . . but well, emotionally.

before i left the army, i told myself that life "out there" would be so much better, and in retrospect after more than a year, i force myself to question: has it been, really?

i am attached again after a 4 year hiatus, and have had fun meeting this bunch of people in NUS, the arts raggers 2005 and my USP pals especially, whom have undoubtedly brightened up otherwise monotonous days in school. but if i were to negate all that, and examine that same question. . . truth be told, i do not know the answer. and i would dare say a certain part of me wishes to go back to the army.

maybe all we need in our lives is the illusion that we're living a life. and what happens when the bubble bursts? we blow another one and step into it.