this has to be, by far the most rotten holiday i've ever had. feels like a colossal waste of my time and energy spent having to trudge through most of the days. i'm frustrated and drained. and yes, i know most of you would stone me alive for saying this, but i really wish for school to start - at least then i know that there is something that can give me a direction and purpose.


what is so rotten about this holiday. . . let me count the ways. . .
(1) computer kena spyware and display adaptor problems, still not resolved yet because of. . .


(2) me being totally broke (i started the sem with a mid 4-digit bank account balance and am now left with a 2-digit one), which can be partly due to. . .


(3) me continually losing at mahjong. yes i know that i sound like a bunch of really sour grapes, but i simply cannot stomach the fact that i've lost nearly a hundred bucks in less than a month. furthermore. . .


(4) my mom suddenly told me to shoulder the financial burden of my driving lessons + test without prior warning, something that is also gonna get worse next year because. . .


(5) i failed my fucking driving test for the 2nd time. i'm not going to go into details because its over and i do not want to talk about it, but having to re-take it plus a few lessons would essentially set be back by another 300 bucks at least which i obviously cannot spare at this current point of time.


and oh, the results are due to be out in less than 24 hours. i do not which to be bitter or cynical about it, but in retrospect of all that has transpired above, i cannot help but feel its just gonna be the icing on the cake - a perfect way to end of 2005. i started it off with a bang with signing 5 extra duties for a security breach in the army, so i guess i owe it to myself to end the year on an equal (if not more) spectacularly depressing mood eh?


its quite ironic really, the fact that my results - once thought before the holidays to be the only thing that would spoil the "festive mood" is now becoming the only thing that can "rescue" such a mood.


we reap what we have sown. really? in another 25 hours time we will see. . . 4.0. . . we will see. . .