i was rather disturbed when i picked up a copy of the New Paper yesterday to find a report on 5 schoolgirls diagnosed with anorexia splashed across the front page.


now what really disturbed me was not the occurance of the eating disorders per se (hey, if necrophiles exist, why not anorexics?) but rather how these girls came to be affllicted by it. more pointedly, i am asking: how could the parents of the girls not know what was unfolding before their eyes? let's just take this for instance: i stumble home at 3am, and after fumbling unsuccessfully for about a minute finally open the Fort Knox-like door to my house, my mom wakes up from the pandemonium, glares at me from head to toe, and instantly gives me a dressing down: "BRANDON!! YOU'VE BEEN (insert either: DRINKING/SMOKING/SCREWING THE NEIGHBOUR'S POOCH) AGAIN HAVEN'T YOU?!"


now, along those lines. . . wouldn't any conscientious parent (like my mom) find it puzzling if their child has been displaying overt signs of eating disorders (or animalistic sexual tendencies)? unless of course, they hardly give 2 hoots to whether their child has stopped eating and/or started growing antlers from his head. it seems that these parents conveniently negate such disorders as being lesser in magnitude compared to say, losing money in mahjong. . .


the absent role of parents in teenage lives - that is the root problem society has to address here, not how the prevalence of violent television programs and "online movements started by aneroxic fans" have influenced teenage minds of today. granted, certain scenes may be hmmm. . . overtly graphical, but isn't that the fucking reason why its called "entertainment"? sex and violence sell, and in so doing, flim companies are merely preventing themselves from going into the red.


as cliche as it sounds, the teenage years are truly the most impressionable of one's life, it is an age where one develops a semblence of an identity and demands to be impacted. the case of anorexia in the papers shows how, in the absense of such strong guiding influences coming from the people who brought these girls into the world (read: PARENTS) the girls undertake a journey of self-discovery and peer acceptance by themselves, with well. . . neither spectacular nor desirable results.


the apple does not fall far from the tree, and deep inside their hearts the parents of the girls are probably embarassed to acknowledge that. so they wag the dog and divert the blame onto just about everything they can lay their accusatory fingers on - the media, the educational system, the Teletubbies, and poor ol' David Beckham for wearing Victoria's thongs. excuses are scant attempts to cover up one's inadequacies and failings.


if you cannot afford the time to be with your children to know them and their struggles better, then you do not deserve to be a parent. there are no two ways, nor excuses that you can give to vindicate your actions (or rather, the lack of it).